On 21 July 1969, Neil Armstrong became the first person to walk upon the surface of the moon. And on 1 August 2026, the Badgers had the privilege of playing cricket where Armstrong once trod. Heatwave after heatwave and the repeated impact of space debris had turned the Hilly Fields track into something resembling the lunar surface, although in the batsmen’s favour was an outfield drier than a Badger’s mouth when waking up on tour, with the merest nurdle hurtling towards the boundary at high speed.
TG won the toss and batted, reasoning the surface could only get worse. Dickie was promptly caught behind from a full ball which spat up, Brayden was going strong until one shot from a good length into the base of his off stump, and Tom himself suffered a similar fate shortly after ducking a delivery which pitched in about the same spot. Some deliveries behaved as if in zero gravity, and the Lawnmower wicketkeeper fell victim to one such that trampolined into his ear with the batsman light years from making contact.
A mad over either side of drinks saw Jacques bowled off his pads attempting a mow which the opposition would have been proud of. Steve then smashed a four, was caught and bowled off a no ball which had (just) bounced twice, and then given LBW to one with a hint of legside about it. Ollie blazed two boundaries before missing a straight one. Amid the chaos, Rexy had been eking out an innings which was functional at best - the cricketing equivalent of staying alive on tasteless space rations and your own recycled urine.
He was joined by Will G, who despite having run 29km that morning, brought some much-needed momentum by smiting a quickfire 40. His Apollo 13 moment came when on the same ball he survived a big stumping appeal only to be given out caught behind… by the square leg umpire. The decision was retracted, the carbon dioxide scrubbers repaired and on he went. Rexy also cut loose as the bowlers tired, peppering the legside boundary to bring up the 100 partnership, before meeting a grisly end for 83 when stumped off a seamer having dropped his bat. After a late burst of wickets the Badgers had set what we thought was a strong total of 233.
That optimism was boosted by an early wicket for Hector, and when AJ overcame a challenging uphill run-up to land the big wicket of the Lawnmower centurion from last summer’s fixture. However, the other opening batter was going well, mainly staying deep in the crease and dismissing anything that missed a good length (of which there was plenty) to the boundary with superb timing.
He was joined by the opposition wicketkeeper, with a jauntily bandaged ear which added a piratical element to proceedings, and together they launched the chase into orbit with a big partnership. As the bowling disappeared to all corners, one ball was hit so far into the road that whoever was in charge of the boundary music got through most of Arctic Monkeys’ debut album before play resumed.
As the Badgers wilted, with those bowling uphill taking extra punishment (the skipper bowled a full spell from the other end, naturally), the opener completed a fine hundred before Louis’ persistence paid off and he was bowled. Hopes were raised one last time when AJ backpedalled at mid off to take a superb one-handed, reaching-behind-the-back catch (a cynic might say he should have just got in position quicker, but not I), and Louis grabbed a couple more wickets but the damage was done and “Mower” eased home with four wickets and five overs to spare.
It had been an enjoyable match played in good spirits, and no doubt we’ll be back again next year - possibly in space suits.