In the first game of this year’s South London Ashes, the King’s Road set out their stall as the team to beat, coasting home to a comfortable 38-run victory. A game that was notable for Cade’s bold declaration that he desperately wanted to see Cloke with his shirt off saw the Badgers throw away too many wickets to stand any real chance of reaching their opponent’s total.

The Badgers began their task admirably, with yet another successful toss from Dollimore and another tight bowling display that restricted the King’s Road batsmen to scraps from the Dundonald table. Jinks proved the pick of the bunch, tweaking the cherry this way and that like a sweaty vicar judging the erotically-shaped fruit at a summer fete. Even more pleasingly, the lack of runs kept the stupid King’s Road bugle relatively quiet. The few times that it did begin its ridiculous parping, Martin’s dog was on hand to bark it back down to silence. Well played Martin’s dog.

If our tale ended there then all would be well, with Jinksy judging fruit and Martin’s dog being legendary. However, the Badger batting could not live up to these high expectations. Most of the batsmen were unable to find the right mixture of attack and defence, either perishing to extravagant shots or getting bogged down in the sticky orange mire. Rushworth achieved the only score of note, helping himself to a tidy 33 runs, but it was not enough to halt the King’s Road charge.

The orange bugle sounded one last time and this time even Martin’s dog could not prevent its disgraceful din from reverberating in Badger ears.

Saturday 7th June 2014 KRCSC Kings Road Cricket and Social Club vs Badgers Battersea Badgers

Kings Road Cricket and Social Club 158 for 7 (40 overs)

  • Glover 34 (0)
  • Isham 22 (0)
  • Jinks 3/25 (8)
  • Blake 2/29 (8)

Battersea Badgers 120 for 10 (35 overs)

  • Rushworth 33 (58)
  • Jinks 20 (30)
  • Rossi 3/23 (7)
  • Cocken 2/5 (5)
  • Glover 2/17 (7.5)
Full scorecard
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