In the first game of this year’s South London Ashes, the King’s Road set out their stall as the team to beat, coasting home to a comfortable 38-run victory. A game that was notable for Cade’s bold declaration that he desperately wanted to see Cloke with his shirt off saw the Badgers throw away too many wickets to stand any real chance of reaching their opponent’s total.

The Badgers began their task admirably, with yet another successful toss from Dollimore and another tight bowling display that restricted the King’s Road batsmen to scraps from the Dundonald table. Jinks proved the pick of the bunch, tweaking the cherry this way and that like a sweaty vicar judging the erotically-shaped fruit at a summer fete. Even more pleasingly, the lack of runs kept the stupid King’s Road bugle relatively quiet. The few times that it did begin its ridiculous parping, Martin’s dog was on hand to bark it back down to silence. Well played Martin’s dog.

If our tale ended there then all would be well, with Jinksy judging fruit and Martin’s dog being legendary. However, the Badger batting could not live up to these high expectations. Most of the batsmen were unable to find the right mixture of attack and defence, either perishing to extravagant shots or getting bogged down in the sticky orange mire. Rushworth achieved the only score of note, helping himself to a tidy 33 runs, but it was not enough to halt the King’s Road charge.

The orange bugle sounded one last time and this time even Martin’s dog could not prevent its disgraceful din from reverberating in Badger ears.

Saturday 7th June 2014 KRCSC Kings Road Cricket and Social Club vs Badgers Battersea Badgers

Kings Road Cricket and Social Club 158 for 7 (40 overs)

  • Glover 34 (0)
  • Isham 22 (0)
  • Jinks 3/25 (8)
  • Blake 2/29 (8)

Battersea Badgers 120 for 10 (35 overs)

  • Rushworth 33 (58)
  • Jinks 20 (30)
  • Rossi 3/23 (7)
  • Cocken 2/5 (5)
  • Glover 2/17 (7.5)
Full scorecard
  1. Rex Tremendae*

    Ploughmans match report 21st Aug 2023 — by Chris Shone
  2. A Tale of Two Dickies

    Cincinnati match report 17th Aug 2023 — by Martin Fitzgerald
  3. Badger on a hot tin roof

    Southbank match report 12th Jun 2023 — by Martin Fitzgerald
  4. 3 Ducks & 22 Men, A Badger Versus Ducksmen Classic

    Flying Ducksmen match report 27th May 2023 — by Karl Larsson
  5. A Bloodless Coup

    19th May 2023 — by Martin Fitzgerald
  6. A Hard Day's Plight

    JMC match report 15th May 2023 — by Karl Larsson
  7. Badgers out for the count

    V&A match report 1st May 2023 — by Karl Larsson
  8. Yes Minister, the Badgers can boogie

    His Majesty's Treasury and Cabinet Office match report 24th May 2022 — by Tom Rex
  9. Jump-start Justin steers Badgers to victory

    Southbank match report 24th May 2022 — by Tom Rex
  10. Any colour you like, as long as it’s Kew

    Kew match report 27th Apr 2022 — by Tom Rex
  11. Suds, Spoons & Blake Break

    Addiscombe match report 27th Apr 2022 — by Nick Foord
  12. Soggy bottom costs Badgers the win

    Cincinnati match report 1st Sep 2020 — by Tom Rex
  13. Badgers sizzle in Beddington scorcher

    Beddington match report 1st Sep 2020 — by Tom Rex
  14. Look East

    Interlopers match report 1st Sep 2020 — by Josh Lee
  15. A Winning End to Lock-Downe

    Downe match report 12th Aug 2020 — by Tom Rex
  16. Badgers Goosed by Soaring Ducksmen

    Flying Ducksmen match report 3rd Aug 2020 — by Tom Rex
  17. All Hail Breaks Loose

    Addiscombe match report 26th May 2019 — by Josh Lee
  18. It’s grim up North London

    Arkley match report 4th Sep 2018 — by Peter Cade
  19. Badgers Win by 32 Runs

    Thespian Thunderers match report 1st Sep 2018 — by Stuart Barker
  20. Two For One

    Eagles and Eagles match reports 12th Aug 2018 — by Peter Cade
Older Articles