The Badgers convened at Abinger Hammer this past Saturday for our annual game of who can hit the ball into the stream. The Badgers packed the batting lineup accordingly and scurried into the Surrey Hills for an afternoon of deep filled sandwiches and packed slip cordons. Abinger had opted to modernise this year, ditching the traditional timed match for 40 overs a side and after a swift inspection of the pitch, The Badgers were invited to bat first - captain Larsson still yet to suss out the arcane knack of winning a toss.
Abinger Hammer is of course named after its 16th century water-powered iron forge and in respect to our hosts, we deployed our own Waters powered iron forge - with our opening pair of Matt Waters and Will Kenton. Matt, however, had swapped the waters for - in his own words - “a few beers” the night before and looked a little worse for wear heading out to the middle. No bother, a fine start from both got the Badgers ticking the board along in the opening overs without loss. Captain Larsson neglected the arrival of his own mother, having entered a flow state in the scorer's chair, dual wielding book and iPad. Badger legend Andrew Thorpe had arrived for a sunshine pint wearing full whites. Meanwhile, Steve manned the scoreboard lever and Matt Adams was snapping photos for the BadgerGram. “Show some industry, Badgers!” Stew Mac called from the sidelines. We were, at least for a few minutes, an efficient badgering machine. Then Matt got out, picking out a fielder for 15.
Tom Gerrard strode in next, no helmet, and hit his first ball for 4. “He’d have definitely been a spitfire pilot in the War”, Stew observed. Flash-hard Gerrard flashed hard and scored quickly, playing nicely square of the wicket. Will joined in, hitting a trio of boundaries back-to-back but found a fielder in the 9th over to walk back with 21. Our very own Man-o’-war Peter Warman stepped in to steady the ship, and sailed the Badgers within sight of land (read drinks) before a ball cannoned into his pads and blew a hole in the Badger artillery - sinking him LBW for 22.
After a glass of squash and an opportunity for Karl to say hello to his mum, the Badgers resumed with Craig Knight joining Gerrard in the middle. Two more boundaries bought Tom within a sniff of 50, but the prospect of putting his card behind the bar didn’t appeal, and he plucked out a fielder to leave with a jug-avoiding 49 on the day. Now throughout history there have been numerous chivalrous orders - groups of knights, united by a single shared purpose - or charitable aim. Some are ancient, the Knights Templar, the Knights Hospitaller, but in 2021 a new order was formed that is known in badgering circles as the Knights Craig. There is only one member and his purpose is to guide a middling South London cricket club to victory on the field. So with a dwindling number of partners, Craig explored the far reaches of the Abinger boundary to carry the Badgers to a defendable total. Stew Mac and Hash supported the cause nobly, while Steve, debutant Sam and Matt fell to no score. The Badgers were 213-9. Larsson survived just a little longer, holding up an end as Craig moved to 83 and the Badgers to 230 with 5 overs still to use. But an ill disciplined shot from the Badgers captain saw the innings close early leaving Craig stranded with 83*. “It should be enough” Karl said with shifty eyes, trying to convince himself, as the Badgers loaded up with the generous tea provisions.
Legend has it that the Abinger forge was used to manufacture guns back in the 1580s for use by the English against the Spanish Armada. Through sheer coincidence Spanish international Chris Blanco wasn’t available this weekend - presumably busy squirting pesky tourists with a water pistol on Las Ramblas. With Chairman Sam also absent The Badgers were a little short of pace in the bowling attack. Dependable Hash - wearing Steve’s no. 52 shirt - opened down the hill, troubling the Abinger openers by angling it into their pads. Craig took the new ball from the other end, honing in on off stump in the hopes of feeding a stacked cordon crowded around the bat.
Knight struck first, with an edge taken safely by Mcluskey in the slips. Steve Hash and Craig then took two in three balls between them. Steve Hash tempting a cut shot out to Adams at point and Craig taking another thicker edge that Steve Hash only needed to thrust a hand at in the cordon. Abinger wavered at 31-3. A change of bowling brought debutant Sam Nariani and Matt Adams into the attack. The Abinger middle order settled in and turned the pressure on the Badgers, with an expensive period of play bringing the opposition hundred up inside 17 overs. Larsson brought himself into the attack before drinks, only to lose the game of who can hit the ball into the stream, being hit for 6 off his second ball by the Abinger number 5. Hash rejoined the attack to break the danger partnership, his victim heaving one to Gerrard on the fence at deep midwicket, who juggled it safely. Larsson dried the ball off and recovered well, frustrating the Abinger danger man to build some pressure before a thick edge was taken by Warman behind the stumps. Game poised at 115-5 chasing 230 at the halfway mark.
Larsson continued after drinks, tempting the Abinger number 6 with a leg side ball that was hooked straight into the safe hands of Steve Thomas at deep fine leg. Mcluskey turned the arm from the other end as Abinger chipped away at the target. Steve, no actually Steve this time, came on to trouble the batsmen - taking a wicket for only 2 runs in his first over - with Karl taking a simple catch at short midwicket to leave Abinger needing 6 an over from the last 10.
Steve helped to stymie the runs, but the Abinger pair were picking the short boundary well. Craig & Hash returned for the final overs, squeezing the rate, but Abinger remained in touching distance. Tom Gerrard gifted 5 over throws late in the 36th with a wild shy at the stumps, having mistaken the man standing at square leg for a badger. He could only watch as the umpire side stepped and the ball tumbled into the boundary. Abinger kept chasing to the last. They needed 14 to win from the final over. Craig had the ball in hand. Dot, 4, 2, 1. Seven needed from two balls.
It’s easy to give bowlers all the plaudits when wickets fall, with the catchers playing second fiddle. But after 40 overs in the field, energy low on a hot day, Peter Warman crouched behind the stumps waiting for the penultimate ball.
Back in 1985 - during his UK tour, just a few years before his untimely death from a heart attack aged 52 - Roy Orbison performed at St David’s Hall in Cardiff. Roy was a massive Alan Knott fan and on his short visit to Wales he heard about a local child who, despite being a small child, had already shown immense potential with the gloves. Roy, keen to do his part to encourage a future wicket keeping prodigy, dedicated a song to the boy. That night, instead of performing the usual rendition of his best known hit, Pretty Woman, he opted to change a few lines to celebrate the young gloveman and he sang:
Peter Warman, crouchin’ behind the crease
Peter Warman, a guy who loves to keep
Peter Warman, when you’ve got the gloves nothing gets through
Noone can keep as good as you
Mercy
Duh-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-Duh-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun
Craig ran in, duh-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun, the Abinger man clipped the ball. Mercy. An inside edge, a skillful catch from Pete under pressure and the Abinger man had to walk leaving 7 needed from one ball. Craig bowled it, Tom fielded it, one run from it. Another close Badgers win. The Knights Craig took Badger of the Match for a crucial 83* and 3-42 bookending the innings, drinks were shared with the ever gracious Abinger players and Captain Karl smashed a full pint in uncontrollable celebration - Mazel Tov!
The Badgers departed victorious, having shown some industry in the old industrial heart of Abinger Hammer. The sun dipped behind the Surrey Hills as we bid the idyllic surrounds adieu, until next year - Goodknight.