The Battersea Badgers sent forth a contubernium of plucky legionaries to Barnes Bridge this past Wednesday evening to combat the latest wave of troublesome Marauders. Captain Jacques Sparrow swapped Cutlass for Gladius after a swashbuckling draft of the batting order was quickly stymied by the adults in the room. Thus a phalanx of orderly Badgers crossed the river armed with the pink ball and adorned in fancy new wool jumpers.
It being ancient Rome, it would have been anachronistic for us to remember the scorebook and so we're relying, this week, on oral history and a coded hieroglyph James Beeken etched into his tablet. History is written by the victors, after all.
Back from fortifying the Danube, Consul Sam opened up proceedings with the ball. A badger bowling Centurion, Sam honed in on the edge of the bat but was unable to unseat the Marauding openers. The badger pace attack rotated through Ballistas, with Hash and Joe Peach preventing the opposition from scoring freely. Joe blew his hand up fielding off his own bowling and was sent to the luggage train to recover. Karl came on, creating a few catching opportunities but still the Marauders stood their ground.
With wickets proving elusive Captain Jaques turned to his spinners. Freed from Desire to bowl, Will Gibbs got the chance to fire a few in, rendering the Marauders defence terrified. Ben Marshall got the break through with his leg spin at the change of ends. Second spells then flipped the badgers fortune with Karl and Hash taking one a piece to leave the score required 138 or thereabouts.
Legend has it Battersea itself was founded by twin brothers, found on the banks of the Thames being suckled by a giant she-badger. Lucky for us they were both available and Romulus Blench and Remus Lee opened the batting, getting off to a formidable start, showing why the eternal city stood fast for 800 years. Fortunately there was no fatricidal runout on the cards, but Aleric of the Visigoths broke through in something like the 410th over to send Josh to that nice golden field at the end of Gladiator.
Marauders Captain Malins, whose recognisable blue hair seemed suitably Pict-ish to fit this bloated Roman analogy, came on to bowl. "Is that colour from Woad?" asked Dickie, eyeing up a new look for himself. "No, Superdrug", the Marauders man replied as he darted one in on the stumps.
After that Robin scored some runs. Dickie and Jacques fell to consecutive balls to a man masquerading as The King of Spain and then Gibbsy scored some runs. Karl, recently freed from life in the senate, hung around for longer than usual but fell on his sword dancing down to a straight one with 12 left to get. Marshall cameoed but in the end it was Hash and Beeks who carried the Badger standard from the field, taking it down to the wire with 1 needed from the final over and 1 still needed from the final ball of the innings.
Gibbsy took BOTM for a well managed 25*, Beeks registered a trademark for his newly invented cricket scoring system and the Battersea Badgers returned home victorious with another win under Imperator Gerrard and Augustus Adams. A cross border campaign out to Stonor Park and the imperious V&A awaits this weekend, but until then Carpe Diem.