Written by Will Gibbs
The Badgers set sail for Henley through heavy traffic, with Captain Gerrard the last to arrive after a navigational disaster stemming from a bout of Gibbsian time management. By the time the full crew assembled, it was agreed the Badgers would bat first in a timed game, a decision which, like many great naval manoeuvres, meant it would be a battle to the death (or at the very least until the final wicket fell).
Opening the innings on a pitch behaving with all the predictability of the North Sea in storm season, Steve was struck on the pad early doors. Fortunately umpire Beeken, blessed with eyesight sharp enough for the crow’s nest, detected the faintest inside edge. The opposition, meanwhile, appeared convinced the young wicketkeeper had gathered nothing but fresh air.
After Steve did eventually fall, Captain Gerrard (21) ably assisted by Rexy (13) attempted to steer the innings through increasingly treacherous waters against the relentlessly accurate V&A seam attack. Having survived grubbers, shooters and balls that leapt from a length like cannon fire through smoke, it was ultimately the humble full toss, cricket’s equivalent of slipping on deck, that brought the downfall of our leader, he must after all go down with his ship.
Godfrey (8) battled bravely, his footwork at times so balletic it briefly appeared the Badgers had selected a principal dancer rather than a middle-order bat. One particularly elegant skip down the track saved him from the attentions of the V&A wicketkeeper, who stood behind the stumps with the poise and efficiency of a Royal Navy executioner.
Foord (29) and Gibbs (23) then rebuilt patiently and nobly, laying foundations sturdy enough for the lower order to build upon. Contributions from Beeken (13) and Nariani (9) guided the Badgers to a competitive total setting up the tantalising prospect of a V&A run chase of 166 from the remaining 37 overs.
Yet any dreams of an exhilarating chase were quietly scuttled during the Chairman’s lunchtime speech, in which it became increasingly apparent that V&A’s priorities lay not with run rates or daring pursuits, but with preserving ample time for tea, which, as always, was as magnificent as the surrounding views.
Whatever ambitions the hosts retained were soon blasted broadside by Allwood, whose opening spell carried the force and inevitability of Nelson himself ordering the attack. His figures — 8 overs, 2 maidens, 4 for 11, including three early scalps, speak volumes of the devastation wrought, he was unlucky not to be returning to his cabin with the match ball tucked into his breaches. Batsmen prodded uncertainly, edges flew, stumps rattled, and the Badgers briefly scented complete collapse.
The rest of the attack maintained the pressure superbly. Godfrey prowled the outfield with tireless energy, cutting off boundaries at will, including sparking further wickets with a wonderful bit of ground fielding to run out the V&A captain. Nariani delivered a wonderfully tight spell of 4-0-1-17, Captain Gerrard chipped in with a wicket. As well as brilliant spells from H Gibbs, Beeken and Poole who all can count themselves unlucky not to register in the wickets column.
Gibbs bowled unchanged for 8-4-1-18, for much of his spell, the twirlyman became convinced every defensive shot, every leave, every block represented imminent catastrophe for the batsman. A dead-batted forward prod would be met with shrieks of encouragement, half appeals to nobody in particular, and increasingly elaborate arm gestures suggesting, collapse and possibly maritime disaster were all moments away. Several times the batsmen simply blocked the ball back down the pitch while Gibbs reacted as though he had personally witnessed mutiny aboard the HMS Victory.
As the overs dwindled, the Badgers abandoned subtlety entirely. Fielders crowded round the bat in ever-increasing numbers until it appeared less a cricket match and more a naval boarding action. Men lurked at short leg, silly point, leg slip and various positions seemingly invented on the spot. At one stage all ten fielders were within conversational distance of the batsman, all waiting for the fatal mistake that stubbornly refused to arrive.
There was still late drama. The captain turned to Godfrey who delivered a gloriously theatrical final over, every ball greeted with anticipation bordering on hysteria. Yet despite the Badgers’ efforts, the 9th wicket pair survived, and the match drifted into an honourable draw.
Still, many positives for the Badgers as they head north east next week in search of further scalps and perhaps opponents marginally more interested in chasing victory than safeguarding the tea interval.