The Battersea Badgers assembled in Sanderstead this past Sunday in the hopes of getting the Trinity over Trinity Mid-Whitgiftian CC by claiming victory for the third time in as many years. Nearly everyone arrived uncharacteristically early, clearly excited by the amenities of a fully fledged cricket ground. Nets were practiced in, our very own allotted changing room was luxuriated in and Craig Knight submitted a 5 star Yelp review after finding there was body wash in the showers.
The Badgers lost the toss and fielded first, no bother - that was the exact formula that had precipitated comfortable wins in the previous two visits. Hash arrived just in time. “Who’s got the key to the changing room?” asked Steve as The Badgers emerged one by one, striding through the white picket fence onto the field.
Spanish international Chris Blanco opened proceedings with a statement ball aimed at the wicket keeper’s head. He swivelled on his heel like a matador, snapped his castanets and then took a wicket with his second ball, edging to Larsson at second slip. Club Chairman Sam rose from a chair (read bench) he found on the fine leg boundary to join the action, stringing up dots to build plenty of pressure in the opening overs. Cue wickets as Sam delivered a scintillating solo performance in the sixth over to take Trinity’s top order out of the game with a caught and bowled and LBW - a double wicket maiden which left the opposition wobbling at 16-3.
The sound of Badger celebrations signalled the arrival of Trinity legend and Badger favourite Nigel walking out to the crease for a stint of umpiring. Though the Badgers were spared his canny off-spin this year, we were fortunate to keep his company in the middle for a little while. Hash and Martin took first change as Trinity dug in, their number 5 dealing in boundaries to keep the board moving. Craig had the chalkboard out in the slip cordon, with Captain Larsson taking notes. The trap was laid and in walked the lingering Trinity opener, popping one up from Hash angling it in, into the waiting hands of Steve Thomas at short midwicket. Martin probed away outside off, but a few misfields left him unrewarded on the day.
Drinks gave an excuse for half the Badgers to go enjoy the changing room. “Who’s got the key?” asked Jacques. “Has anyone seen the key?” Matt queried. “Where’s the key?” Chris demanded. Hydrated, the Badgers returned to the field. “Has anyone locked the room?” bellowed Steve.
After drinks, Robin struck to put pressure back on Cade in the Badger all time wickets table. The Trinity number 6 was tempted by a wide ball which Tom Gerrard juggled safely for the breakthrough. Larsson leaked runs in pursuit of a catch to break the 6th wicket partnership but it was Chris Blanco who struck late in his second spell with a lightning grab from Craig behind the stumps. Larsson bowled the new man moments later leaving Trinity 127-8. Hash returned bowling the Trinity danger man for 71 as they ticked over 150 and Sam cleared up the rest taking another two in an over to finish 4-22 from 6.5 overs and the Badgers chasing 153 to win.
“Does anyone have the key to the changing room?” asked Tom as we came off for lunch, beating everyone else to the mark. Beige buffet and a watermelon chaser fuelled the Badgers batting innings. “Who’s got the key to the changing room?” Craig asked as Hayden and Langer padded up. It was a Perth-ect start for the Badgers, with our Antipodean pair posting 60 before Matt fell for 18 in the 12th over. “Has anyone seen the key to the changing room?” Steve asked as Tom Gerrard headed out to the middle. It had fallen between the gap in the slats of a commemorative bench. Tom & Craig dug in to face a dangerous spin duo from Trinity’s first change. Craig picked out the man on the long on boundary for 42 and Tom was given the finger a few overs later with the Badgers runs drying up before drinks. “Who’s got the key to the changing room?” asked Hash as he went to get padded up. “Doors open” came the response in unison from the chorus.
Steve and Robin resumed for an attritional stand, soaking up the pressure from Trinity’s bowling attack. Steve fell in the 30th, chipping one back to the bowler to leave the Badgers needing 5 an over from the last 10. “Who’s got the key to the changing room?” Steve asked, eager to get his pads off. Hash strolled out to bat. “Have a look, Hash” said everyone as he tried to put his first ball into Kent. “Who’s got the -”. It was in Jacque’s pocket, it turned out. Chris went to get padded up, returning without his pads on. Hash wasn’t able to get going this time, walking back for 4. Larsson & Godfrey couldn’t hang around either, leaving Robin in the middle running short of partners. Chris found his pads on his second visit (the changing room was unlocked) and he & Robin tentatively eased the Badgers within sight of victory. Then, in the 38th over, with 8 required to win, the same Chris White who’d run a sub-18 minute 5km the day before, attempted a 22 yard dash that would have had Dwain Chambers turning his head. The Trinity fielder had one stump to aim at and sent Chris walking back with 8 needed.
I don’t need to describe in too much detail what happened in the next few minutes, because Jacques live-streamed it ball by ball to a global audience of 7 viewers. Martin joined Robin in the middle and they did exactly what they needed to do. The match was tied with 2 balls left. They had to run. Hash was calling for a super over. Ian Smith impressions were coming from all directions. Then a fumble, the return throw and the bails came off, but Martin Fitzgerald was over the line with a matching winning 2*.
By the barest of all margins, The Badgers left Sanderstead 3 for 3. Robin took BOTM for architecting the win so he could avoid a jug with 48*, and asked for any final words on the late drama as he stepped off the pitch, all he could do was pose a single prosaic question to his teammates, “who’s got the key to the changing room?”.