The Battersea Badgers took to the stage in Thames Ditton this past Sunday to star opposite perennial thorns in Steve’s side, the Thespian Thunderers. The pitch was sun baked following the recent heat wave and was sporting the scars of recent play. Captain Larsson lost the toss and was sent into bat, accompanied by plenty of cloud overhead. After two overs Act 1 was interrupted as rain stopped play and the badgers took shelter under a nearby tree, before evacuating to the changing room when lightning threatened to turn on the Christmas lights. The Thunderers were clearly used to weathering storms and held fast until blue skies cut through and play could resume. A tough twenty overs followed with the Badger bats unable to break out of the teens. Hash was the pick of the bunch with a free flowing 27, but despite some classy shots from the Badger XI wickets fell and only 120 runs could be mustered before Captain Larsson was bowled in the 30th over to leave the Badgers down and out.
A brief tea intermission allowed Aussie duo Joe and Matt to venture into the onsite cafe, but both decided to skip the lunch special of Beef Wellington with wild mushroom duxelles and return with a cheese and onion sandwich instead. Ben Marshall revealed he’d gone out to bat with his phone in his pocket and that phone now had a cricket ball shaped crack in the screen. Meanwhile Chekov’s Gun appeared in the form of professional umpire Dickie Blench, who immediately asserted to the opposition that he would now be umpiring their batting innings, having recently done a course.
Act 2 commenced with Hash and Joe opening the bowling with typical attrition. The breakthrough came in the fifth over - Hash taking the Thesps opener LBW - Chekov’s finger going up after a very professional amount of deliberation. Newlywed Matt Adams joined the attack with threatening loop and bounce but it was Marshall from the other end who struck, removing the Thespian number 3 caught and bowled. Steve stood texting at slip, Waters slipped over in the mud and the game slipped away from Captain Karl. Johnston and Beeken took a wicket each late on to crack into the opposition middle order, but the runs on the board were not enough and the Thesps knocked off the total with overs to spare.
The Badgers retired to the balcony for Act 3 and watched a better game of cricket conclude on the neighbouring pitch. We were defeated, but we’d weathered the storm. Steve’s revenge would have to wait another year. One can’t help but rue the decisions made during a loss, individual choices at precise moments in time all ultimately leading to a singular outcome. Then our resident semi-professional umpire said, recalling a night in drag, “I decided I didn’t want massive tits on the day”. And so it is with all choices, made in the moment, as a medium pace ball on a dodgy wicket is hurtling towards your off stump. They needn’t be revisited too seriously. After all, each time a Badger takes to that most unforgiving stage is a new performance; and we needn’t dwell when the next fixture awaits.